This is not a test. Unless it is, and no one told me so I haven't revised, which means I'm going to fail. Thanks for that.
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Monday, March 06, 2006


Thanks Laurelin for the tag, here's my response. Please bear in mind it is Monday morning and I left my brain at home today.

Black and White or Colour; how do you prefer your movies?
I like my movies in colour, but I like stills in black and white…

What is the one single subject that bores you to near-death?
Erm, football. Talking about football. Lucky I don’t know anyone who’s actually going to talk to me about it.

MP3s, CDs, Tapes or Records: what is your favourite medium for prerecorded music?
I like records. If you play them too fast or too slow and it’s like having two records for the price of one and you can play them backwards. They demand your attention because you have to turn them over and if they skip you have to jump out of seat like lightning to right them. Playing them well is like a precise exercise in electronic engineering: speakers, amplifiers, careful placing of the needle. It’s a listening experience.

MP3s are good for portability and skipping through tracks though. It’s difficult to records on the train.

You are handed one first class trip plane ticket to anywhere in the world and ten million dollars cash. All of this is yours provided that you leave and not tell anyone where you are going … Ever. This includes family, friends, everyone. Would you take the money and ticket and run?
No, I’d try and figure out a way to have both. I would plan an elaborate ruse to trick the person offering me the money. To karmically rebalance afterwards I would give a heap of dosh to charity.

Money just aint worth having if you don’t have anyone to share it with.

Seriously, what do you consider the world’s most pressing issue now?
Climate change/destruction of our environment – no matter what else we do, achieve or whatever there’s not much point if we’re going to kill off the planet. We’ll have to move to the moon. It’s cold and dry there. That would suck.

How would you rectify the world’s most pressing issue?
I would make everyone convert their cars to run on sugar, or hemp, or vegetable oil, or natural gas. I would lock up the CoE of MacDonalds and submit them to tickle torture. I would force power companies to shut down their power stations or ‘go green’ and build hydroelectric tidal energy generators and wind farms out at sea. I would put a limit on car use to make people choose when they need to use them rather than just nipping round the corner in them when it’s cold.

It’s unfair to expect me to come up with an integrated and realistic plan for the prevention of climate change off the top of my head on a Monday morning when I feel like shite. That’s just mean.

You are given the chance to go back and change one thing in your life; what would that be?
I wouldn’t change anything. I try not to carry regrets around with me.

You are given the chance to go back and change one event in world history, what would that be?
I’m not sure if I would change anything in broader history either. I thought at first I would kill off Hitler, but someone else would’ve probably gone and done the same thing anyway. There were and are plenty of people who’d be capable.

A night at the opera, or a night at the Grand Ole’ Opry – Which do you choose?
The Grand Ole’ Opry sounds like more fun than the opera.

What is the one great unsolved crime of all time you’d like to solve?
Who killed Roger Rabbit. Oh wait, didn’t someone solve that one already. Yeah, I think they made a movie about it…

One famous author can come to dinner with you. Who would that be, and what would you serve for the meal?
George Orwell. I would serve him couscous and halloumi cheese with grilled vegetables, because it’s yum.

You discover that John Lennon was right, that there is no hell below us, and above us there is only sky — what’s the first immoral thing you might do to celebrate this fact?
I don’t believe in God, heaven or hell, and I don’t act like a murderous jerk-off. Just because there’s no one ‘watching you’ doesn’t mean people will run wild in the streets and go all LOTF and end up eating each other. We shouldn’t need a ‘overseer’ to keep us in line.


damagecontrol said...

sometimes i think maybe it would be a bad idea to kill hitler in the past because the whole horrid debacle proves to be such a strong lesson in todays society about propaganda and dictatorships. that everyone knows.

id destroy some sort of technology.

TP said...

Yeh, maybe the atom bomb. Except I tend to think that would be 'invented' anyway as well - curious humans, destined to be the facilitators of their own destruction.

Laura said...

Mmm couscous and halloumi with roasted veg - good call!